The joke thread!

[sexynikki]

see you know what............. oooooooooooo

Originally Posted by swt_juice_34

o good blonde joke ms bitch . and yes it is drama free thats the way i like it . here goes one .

DEAF SEX

Two deaf people get married and during the first week of marriage they
find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the
lights out since they can't see each other signing, or lips to lip-read.

After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings,
the wife figures out a solution. She writes, "Honey, why don't we
agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to
have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time.
If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast
two times."

The husband thinks this is a great idea. He writes back to his wife
if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on his penis
one time. If she doesn't want to have sex, pull on his penis two
hundred and fifty times

[SUPREMEBEEYATCH]

TOOOO FUNNY LOVED UR JOKE GURLY!:laugh: GLAD U ENJOYED MINES HERE IS ANOTHER:nerd: A respectable lady went into the pharmacy, calmly walked up to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed:eek:, "Lord, have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law. I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well..... now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription!!"

[swt_juice_34]

Originally Posted by SUPREMEBEEYATCH

TOOOO FUNNY LOVED UR JOKE GURLY!:laugh: GLAD U ENJOYED MINES HERE IS ANOTHER:nerd: A respectable lady went into the pharmacy, calmly walked up to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed:eek:, "Lord, have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law. I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well..... now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription!!"

another good one lady . bravo !!!!! give u another one 2 morrow .

[swt_juice_34]

I dare.. no double-dare one of you to sing this at your next Karaoke event.
SING IT

At first I was afraid, I was petrified!
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, that
I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on...
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry!
I should have known that it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those
Jeans!

Go on now - go! , Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a jerk to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

[sexynikki]

ooooooooooo girl thats cute lil joke oooooooooo

Originally Posted by swt_juice_34

I dare.. no double-dare one of you to sing this at your next Karaoke event.
SING IT

At first I was afraid, I was petrified!
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, that
I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on...
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry!
I should have known that it was bulls***t, just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those
Jeans!

Go on now - go! , Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a jerk to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

[swt_juice_34]

yea i knew u will like that . i got more just keep lookin 2 this thread from me . u 2 mz bitch . anyone 4 that matter .

[sexynikki]

oooooooooo sis be good:laugh:

Originally Posted by swt_juice_34

yea i knew u will like that . i got more just keep lookin 2 this thread from me . u 2 mz bitch . anyone 4 that matter .

[SUPREMEBEEYATCH]

TOOOO FUNNNNYYYYYYY:laugh: U KNOW I LOVE THIS THREAD FOR JOKES I GOT ONE FOR U:nerd: An Indian walks into a whore house and throws a bag of money on the counter and says, "me want pussy."
The woman working the counter decides that she wants to have a little fun with him, and tells him that he must first fuck the big oak tree on the hill.

The Indian replies, "me no want tree, me want pussy." "Sorry," the lady replies, "those are the rules." The Indian goes up to the hill and fucks the big oak tree.

The next day the Indian returns to the whore house with two bags of money and demands some pussy. The woman tell him that he must fuck the tree two more times and then he can have all the pussy he wants. The Indian does as she says and returns the next day.:blue_variant:

When he returns, the woman tells him to go to room 302 on the third floor.About 5 minutes later, the woman hears screaming. She runs up to the first floor, nothing. She runs up to the second floor, nothing.

She runs up to the third floor and sure enough, the noise is coming from room 302. The woman rushes in to see the Indian cramming a broom handling up the prostitutes cut. The woman says, "What the hell are you doing?"

The Indian replies, "Me check for bees!"

[swt_juice_34]

Originally Posted by SUPREMEBEEYATCH

TOOOO FUNNNNYYYYYYY:laugh: U KNOW I LOVE THIS THREAD FOR JOKES I GOT ONE FOR U:nerd: An Indian walks into a whore house and throws a bag of money on the counter and says, "me want pussy."
The woman working the counter decides that she wants to have a little fun with him, and tells him that he must first fuck the big oak tree on the hill.

The Indian replies, "me no want tree, me want pussy." "Sorry," the lady replies, "those are the rules." The Indian goes up to the hill and fucks the big oak tree.

The next day the Indian returns to the whore house with two bags of money and demands some pussy. The woman tell him that he must fuck the tree two more times and then he can have all the pussy he wants. The Indian does as she says and returns the next day.:blue_variant:

When he returns, the woman tells him to go to room 302 on the third floor.About 5 minutes later, the woman hears screaming. She runs up to the first floor, nothing. She runs up to the second floor, nothing.

She runs up to the third floor and sure enough, the noise is coming from room 302. The woman rushes in to see the Indian cramming a broom handling up the prostitutes cut. The woman says, "What the hell are you doing?"

The Indian replies, "Me check for bees!"

NOW WHEN I STARTED 2 READ THIS I WAS CRACKIN :laugh: UP WHEN HE SAID "me want pussy." I CAN HEARD HIM SAYIN THAT :laugh: AND I READ ON I WAS CRACKIN:laugh: UP . TEARS JUST ROLLIN . BRAVO MZ BITCH .

[sexynikki]

see you know what bunnnnnnnnnnny:laugh:

Originally Posted by SUPREMEBEEYATCH

TOOOO FUNNNNYYYYYYY:laugh: U KNOW I LOVE THIS THREAD FOR JOKES I GOT ONE FOR U:nerd: An Indian walks into a whore house and throws a bag of money on the counter and says, "me want pussy."
The woman working the counter decides that she wants to have a little fun with him, and tells him that he must first fuck the big oak tree on the hill.

The Indian replies, "me no want tree, me want pussy." "Sorry," the lady replies, "those are the rules." The Indian goes up to the hill and fucks the big oak tree.

The next day the Indian returns to the whore house with two bags of money and demands some pussy. The woman tell him that he must fuck the tree two more times and then he can have all the pussy he wants. The Indian does as she says and returns the next day.:blue_variant:

When he returns, the woman tells him to go to room 302 on the third floor.About 5 minutes later, the woman hears screaming. She runs up to the first floor, nothing. She runs up to the second floor, nothing.

She runs up to the third floor and sure enough, the noise is coming from room 302. The woman rushes in to see the Indian cramming a broom handling up the prostitutes cut. The woman says, "What the hell are you doing?"

The Indian replies, "Me check for bees!"